Why the Irish DID Conquer the World...

I have a friend who laughs as he asks the annual question: "Why did God creat alcohol?" The obvious annual answer to him: "So that the Irish would not conquer the world!" (Supposed yuk yuk)

I say that the Irish already have conquered the world.

As half Irish (Maguire on me Mither's side), I take a March-madness offense to that type of attempted-humor...why? Because it's so patently anti-Irish? Heavens no....anyone who says things like this joke will never say it in front of an Irish pub at happy-hour. No, no they giggle it at the water cooler...and then are tugged back to their cubby-hole by the he-man forces of email.

An Irishman would say, "That's My island..."and succesfully attack the jokester with a fierce "William Wallace" broadsword.

This type of "Irish humor" is attempted because the world wishes it were Irish.....yep, that's what I said.

Think of it:

• The Irish don't care what people think. They just say it/do it/ fight it/ drink it...
• The Irish accent is coveted by the world...do you see people wanting to thick-talk like the Germans? No, not at all.
• Irish are imps...fun little imps who'd break your jaw with an empty beer bottle...
• Irish lasses are magnificent.
• Irish people make clans...then fight for their clans...then celebrate wildly, win or lose.
• Irish jokes are about death, old ladies, beer, romps in the hay (never sex!) and ALWAYS about the English (and English teeth...tee hee).
• Paul McCartney sang "Give Ireland back to the Irish" ...what a great song.
• Me Mither, Virginia Maguire, was a US Marine Sgt in WWII. Her Dad, John J. Maguire was a "street tough" from South Philly in the first decade of the 1900's. (He could have still kicked my rump when I was 20 and he was 80)
• Irish men who become Catholic Priests run the Vatican, Bingo, the Kennedys, every small town in America...and they let the altar boys drink the Ernest and Julio left in the cupboard. Irish priests like women.....
• Irish rule the world...they just let the other nations think otherwise.

Happy St. Patty's Day...all you Irishmen and Irish-wannabes.

~ William Dennis Maguire Mansfield

Comments

[Esau]

Although I hail from a solid Welsh, German, and Jewish background I must agree about one thing: Irish lasses are magnificent. My firey bride who is also part Cherokee indian is stunning. 20 years later looking into her eyes makes my heart pound.