"Same kind of diferent as me": Pain digs a deep trench...

Just completed Ron Hall and Denver Moore's book by that title. The story is true and real; it's about a modern-day slave, an international art dealer and the unlikely woman who brought them together. (If that sounds like the publisher penned the subtitle...he/she did!)

It's a book about the life and death of a woman who had been married for 31 years to her husband....about seeing a dirt-bag street person/loser as a person...and about celebrating all of our lives together. A Black Man and a White Man becoming forever-friends. A White Woman dying. It's an amazing true book, especially so in light of two other things that happened to me this  week - one a funeral and one a celebration of a recent wedding:

1. Had a 28 year old friend of my oldest son, die of a possible overdose. His funeral was this week and it was hopeless. No faith, no future, just now...and a "now" without him for all those remaining. His Mom and Dad apparently never engaged their family in the issues of God or of an afterlife. The music, though suitable for a classic rock radio station, seemed odd at a funeral - Jimi Hendirx's Watchtower, Pink Floyd's The Wall, etc. No mention of God. None. But then again we die like we live, don't we? How odd to ignore the creator of all the things that we appreciate in nature. It's like appreciating daVinci's drawings and artwork while ignoring daVinci, isn't it?

2. Went to a celebration of a wedding on Sunday (that was recently held in other parts). Have known and loved the new husband since he was a young boy. Asked the couple what the most brutal thing they have had yet come through - and the young bride looked at me like I was from a distant moon. Nothing, they answered. Later, I asked to speak to the new husband alone - to privately encourage him with some words of male marital "wisdom" - and the bride held him in a death grip and shaking her finger in a patronizing "no-no" fashion at me, said "I'm not good with that; that's not gonna happen" - awkwardly forcing herself into the dialog of men. I gave the advice to him/them, nonetheless, and she realized (I think) how inappropriate it was for her to be there with us. I wondered what life would be like 31 years from now for her, should this young bride face the painfully hard times of the wife in the book. "I'm not good with that; that's not gonna happen?" Hmm.....oh, really? In a way, aren't we all like that new wife? Planning on NOT planning for brutal things in life. No fallback position....

So what...a good book about dying, a bad death and a quirky, awkward bride's comments. So what?

Here's the thing: Being real about life (painful or otherwise) is liberating. Being real about death is even more so, especially when we choose to have hope in Christ.

Failing forward is such a vital part of life. Losing loved ones and dying to oneself are the currency of now AND eternity. Pretending to be an adult and not looking square into the face of God, though Christ, is to always be a teen and never a man (or a woman) regardless of age. It is simply shallow. Pain digs a deep trench.

For me, I want to see God's signature in the real "pain" of my life and the lives of others. Your joy will follow...as I see the "same kind of different as me" in each of us.

Read the book!

Den

Comments

[Dennis Mansfield]

Solid comments for the many, many people who read this blog.

Thanks you.
Den

[Believer]

Your comments touched me deeply. It is terribly sad to see someone die so needlessly, who was never given the opportunity to know (really know, not just theorize or compartmentalize or intellectualize) Jesus. And I pray that his parents will learn of Him and the wonders He offers us if we just give up on doing it ourselves and trust in Him. Now that is the biggest hurdle in American society: Trust. We don't trust anyone or anything. And there are a myriad of reasons why (hence, the bride wanting to be involved in the discussion, lack of trust and personal insecurity)but really trusting Jesus and letting Him live through you offers more freedom than the Bill of Rights or the Declaration of Independence. You can fall forward in your mistakes, knowing that you aren't going to break your face on the concrete. You might get a little scraped up, but you aren't going to break your face. Well, those are my comments, for what they are worth.