Happy Birthday to my son, Nate.

 Today, July 14th, is the 28th celebration of my son, Nate's birth. In 1981 my bride and I were honored to become the parents of one of the cutest little guys that God could have made.

Much has been made of Nate's later teen and young adult years and the struggles he faced. His death, just 4 months ago, has left a hole in my family's heart that can only be patched in Heaven. And though we look forward to our reunion, at that future time, I'd like to take just a minute to tell you about the boy I knew and loved, from the past. After all, it's a dad's prerogative, isn't it?

Nate was the joy of my life when he and I were both young. He came into our lives after my first attempt at public office, when I was only 24 years old. My good friend and first-ever campaign manager, Steve Switzer (below with toddler Nate and baby Meg) was his Godfather. Nate was born on a hot July day to parents who knew so very little about how to even hold or diaper their new son. The one memory that stands paramount, as I held my son for the first time, is that his little infant chin was quivering without pause or stop. He just simply came out "moving"....

I was a stay-at-home dad for the first year and a half of Nate's life. My bride, Susan, worked as a public school teacher and I took care of baby Nate - using only the evening hours to do part-time work as a waiter. I saw Nate take his first steps, while on a trip to to see my brother and sister in law in Bakersfield, was there when his first word ("basketball") was uttered as we drove together on a S. Californian road in Redlands. I taught him to love candy and spurn vegetables - (I can hear the moms saying "boo/hiss"). We were all young, so very young during those days of the 80's.

Nate was always moving - formal portraits of his toddler years bear witness to a little leg moving here or a turn of the head, there. He loved motion and would peer out the side window of our car watching motion...in motion.

His character was innocent, his friendship pure. He loved us and spoke openly of that love, as a little boy and even into his teen years. "I love you, Mom and Dad" were words we heard so often that we continue to hear them in our minds, even these many months after he has left us.

Sports filled Nate's life, like so many little boys of each generation. Not that he wanted to be a pro athlete - he just liked "doing" sports - every sport, any sport. And he did them well. As a soccer player his left footed shot-on-goal was superb. As a baseball player, his first-base reach was amazing. His jump-shots were accurate, even as he played basketball in prison. He was the only white guy on an all African American pick-up team, whenever the courts were open and he had earned the privilege to play, in those times of incarceration. He loved Ken Griffey, Jr and saw the future big leaguer play when Jr was with the San Bernardino Spirit - even retrieving a homerun ball hit by Griffey - when all of us were young. He adored Jim Rome's fascinating "take" on sports. Nate was a sports trivia wizzard...utterly accurate with minutia.

Nate's love of his friends was without limit. He was always there. When he was little that quality trait was honed to a sharp edge by his loving and devoted buddy-ship with Mark Smit, his best friend.

As a young child, the boy who celebrated birthdays on July 14th, witnessed how much that date meant to his parents and siblings. It was a holiday, of sorts. I took it off from work (as I ended up doing for all the kids' b-days) and we "played" - movies, bbq's, crawling through ponds in search of frogs or tadpoles, going out to dinner or just telling tales about the life of "Nathan the Adventurer".

So, today seemed like a perfect day to continue that tradition. Nate's in Heaven, we are here without him...but we are not without wonderful memories of him.

I invite you to click on the first Vimeo video on the right side-bar of this blog to see a glimpse of the joy of my heart, Nate Mansfield, as he grew to the full stature of manhood.

Happy Birthday, Nater.
Dad

PS:

I f you are the parent of a son or daughter, hold them close. Tell them often that you love them - for you will have NO regrets, even at the time of their accidental passing, should that terrible day ever visit your house.

Instead, sing loud the songs of your heart - together:

"What a wonderful world - skys of blue and clouds of white.

Friends shaking hands saying "How do you do?" They're really saying I love you."

Comments

[David Shifflett]

Dennis, I want to say Happy Birthday To Nate and to let you know how proud i truly am of you and your family. In the midst of tragedy you guys continue to use you personal loss as a tool for others to get the lesson from your loss. Praise The Father, The Son And The Holy Spirit for you and your entire family. I spend day after day in the trenches trying to help addicts get the good news of Christ and the message of the 12-steps. You always inspire me and encourage me. I havent seen or spoken to you in a while so here is an electronic hug and I love You for you and your family Brother. Dave

[kenrn64@hotmail.com]

Wow, so powerful!
It is hard to find the right words to give a birthday wish to someone who has gone ahead...

I find the wish to go to you two, Den and Sue.

That this day passes with only the warmest, funniest, and most treasured memories in your heart, is my wish. Hold each other tonight after dinner and remember the love that was Nate.

I can just see him, sitting on His couch, drinking a DP and scarfing on some Heavenly pizza (I wonder if Jesus gets upset about feet on the couch?)
Always with love,
Ken

[Dennis]

My heart is so moved by these messages.

It may seem too highly intimate for some, that we would share on our blog our deepest memories of a son, loved and lost...but that's the way we are.

Thank you sweet-heart for your remembrances of last year. As today I find myself in Denver, away from you and our sweet grandson, Cole, I am nevertheless with you in spirit. I will return later today to be with you, celebrate Nate's life and enjoy a dinner in his honor.

How precious you were as a brand new mother, holding our brand new son. How tender it was to see Larry and Julie arrive to be the first to greet him into this world...and later the ones to help us pick out his gravesite.

I saw an Oprah Winfrey program last night, in which she interviewed, Elizabeth, the wife of Kerry's VP running mate - in the middle of their marital confusion, infidelity and expectant closing in of cancer, Elizabeth said something very true, having lost a child: "Death doesn't scare you so much anymore when you have a child waiting there for you on the other side in Heaven." Oprah stated that she had never considered that statement in her life.

We have, haven't we?

Thank you for loving me and believing in me, in Nate and in our other wonderful kids, Meg, Caleb and Colin...and now, Coley Boley.

As the scripture says: "Come Lord Jesus".

Your loving and devoted husband,
Den

[Mark Stewart]

Good to hear your thoughts Den

[Janet]

Just as Joyce said, I, too, say a special Happy Birthday to Nate on each one of his birthdays. Not knowing that last July 14 would be his last earthly birthday (as his NEW birthday is March 11), I posted a message on his My Space page, a page I still visit time to time just to "look" at Nate and remember when. I don't know if he ever saw my message as he didn't seem to frequent the site often, but just knowing that somehow reaching out across the space between KC and ATL, he knew he was loved most especially on his birthday.

So today, I honor Nater Potater with his infectious laughter and deeply felt hugs with a tearful smile and a joy in my heart that he was in our lives and will continue to be until we can all blow out his birthday candles together once more...

Love and blessings,
Janet

[Susan Mansfield]

Thanks, Den, for sharing about Nate's life. I am reminded that today, one year ago was the last time that I saw Nate alive. It was a nice morning and lunch time for a very special 27th birthday. Who would have known that not only was it Nate's last but the last time he and I would lock eyes this side of heaven. We had lunch, sang "Happy Birthday" and gave gifts at the Cheesecake Factory in KC. Not the most likely of restaurants for Nate but we wanted to take him somewhere nice and different. He loved it as did his girl, Ginny.

That trip to KC was a fun one. We went to the Harry Trueman Presidential Museum, at Nate's request. I remember him telling us that he loved doing things like that with his dad because, "Dad fills in all the details that are missing, with all the stories." It was so fun to see Nate interested in the things that his dad loves so much.

I'm so glad I have that memory, I'm so glad we went to KC to visit last summer, I'm so glad I got to spend Nate's last birthday with him.

Nate, I love and miss you so much.
Mom

[Joyce]

Thank you for sharing your special memories of Nate. I thought of him first thing this morning, as I do every July 14th. I love you guys and cannot imagine the pain in your heart today. I am so glad you have Cole to continue your fun traditions. xxoo Joyce