Christmas: joy and pain. It was the plan.

Until this year's Christmas season, I gave sort of "lip service" to the understanding that little baby-Jesus was born in Bethlehem so that 33 year old adult-Jesus could die on the Cross in Jerusalem for the sin of all mankind. "Yes", I would nod, "that makes perfectly good theological sense. "

But think about it.

The Father sent the new-born to be savaged, whipped and killed. And EVERY step of Jesus' childhood, the Father KNEW his adult-son would be murdered. Every day, the Father knew this. Every success he observed in Jesus' childhood, adolescence and adulthood...all lead to a fake trial and an unfair execution. And the Father let it happen.

Arrest, jail, judges and death. And he was innocent & FULLY not guilty

Today we visited the grave of my son, Nate.

Memories flooded my mind. His little boy Christmases, his bikes, his MANY visits with Santa, his growing-up years, girlfriends, dances, first car, college and then his freedom as an adult.

And his arrests, jail and judges. And he was guilty.

And I still sobbed at the thought of losing him this year.

I cannot see Christmas the same way any more. It just won't work, like it did before.

It's better, more real and more FULLY innocent. My heart breaks for God.

My heart is just now starting to heal for my own loss.

And that truth really does provide for me this day, a merry Christmas.

Den

Comments

[Dennis Mansfield]

Kathy,

Your words to us bear much weight. The loss of your son, so precious and so tender, gave you a sensitivity that few people had at your young age, at the time.

We continue to grieve with you over his loss.

For you to tenderly write us today and give us your thoughts and prayers, is more meaningful than you fully know.

We love you and have always held your family close to our hearts.

For Susan, Colin, Meg (& her family) and myself - Thank you.
Den

[Kathleen and Mike Fransway]

Dear Sue and Dennis,
Our hearts are saddened and we feel your pain.
There is absolutely no pain greater than losing your own child. It just isn't suppose to happen that way! The pain will never leave you..... you will just learn to live with it.
There's a saying that God never gives us more than we can bear...and if that's true then God must think you're very stong because this surely hasn't been an easy year for you.
Our thoughts and prayer's are with you.
God Bless you all...Sue, Dennis, Megan and Colin

Love from,
Kathleen, Mike, Emily, Jenna and Jalie

[Dennis Mansfield]

You are sooo correct, Joyce.

Thank you for living through this horribly hard time of our lives. You are a great friend. How awesome it is that you are also my sister.
Den

[Joyce]

Den & Sue,
Your Christmas letter, touched my heart, made me cry and made me hold on to my loved ones just a little tighter. My heart breaks for you as I feel your pain in all your notes. I cant imagine, as I have said before, your loss. Nor, do I want to, but in reality we are not in control. All I can do is pray for God to keep his hand upon their heads and keep them from evil. I love you. Joyce

[Dennis Mansfield]

Dear Bruce and Debbie,

Thank you for your incredible thoughtfulness in writing to us today. As I said in our letter to you, only you, Bruce, as the doctor who delivered my baby boy, Nate, can understand and remember the joy that Susan and I had on the day of Nate's birth. As I remember, Nate was one of the first babies you had delivered in your early days of practice.

You rejoiced with us in the delivery room in Fontana, CA. And you kept in touch with us over the years.

Your message today touched me deeply. Would you have any interest in writing a piece for this blog, from your unique perspective?

Email me at Dennis@DennisMansfield.com and let me know.

Dennis (for Susan, Meg and Colin...and also for Nate)

[Debbie Douglas]

Dear Dennis & Susan,

I just read your Christmas Letter and words cannot express our sadness for you for all you have been through this year and the loss of your beautiful first born son Nate and your mom. May Jesus the Sun of Righteousness continue to arise with healing in His wings over your family.

The service and your words brought me to tears and made me want to hold on to the things that really matter Jesus, family, dear friends, giving a cup of water in His name...., our hope of heaven.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and reminder of what's most important in this world.

Debbie & Bruce Douglas

[The Denney Family]

Praying for all of you Dennis..